Dear Jebus

Oy.

Just got back from another first date. For those of you that are just joining us, I have been out of the dating pool for a while, and am not back trying to find Mr. Right. Or at least Mr. Doesn't Make Me Vomit.

So, I found this one on The Onion Personals. I tend to likeThe Onion cause it has relatively nifty and liberal guys - for the most part you don't get supporters of the Moral Majority on that one.

This guy seemed pretty cool - divorced, couple of kids that live at a distance (sorry to be petty, but I kind of like it like that), employed. Talked over email for a couple days, and then he asked me out. We made arrangements to meet at the Roasted Pear in Burnsville, which I had never heard of.

Met him there tonight. The Roasted Pear is a restaurant that is trying to be unique, but has all the signs of something that is going to soon emerge into a chain. It has good, but not terribly interesting food, and the ambiance leaves a bit to be desired - bad, bad music and the decor isn't really pulled together. It looks kind of like a Bakers Square that's tried to class itself up.

Here are some of the evening's hightlights:

• We sit, and he orders wine. Zinfandel. Now, again call me petty, but I beleive that you can tell a lot about a person by their selection in alcohol. In my world, real men don't drink lite beer. They also don't drink Zinfandel. That's too wussy even for me.
• I am informed that I can order anything that I want...as long as it's not over four dollars. And then he chuckles at his own cleaverness.
• He uses the "quotation marks" with "everything" including "things" that don't need to "be". And it's "fucking annoying".
• Divorced (not that there's anything wrong with that), and not sure where he's "at" emotionally. Was "very depressed" this winter, and seems to have some good anger toward the X (again, not that there's anything wrong with that - I hate mine with an unholy passion most days - but it's not exactly date material).
• Christian. Very much so. Weekly church services and daily prayers. Again, ok...but not for me.
• Thinks that the Minneapolis smoking ban is ridiculous, and doesn't beleive that the government should interfere with private business (yes, do we smell a bit of Republican here)?
• When I ordered a salad, he wanted to know if I had something against meat. My salad actually included chicken and bacon (and again cemented my theory that Everything is Better with Bacon).
• Found out I had pets - wanted to know if I was a "Cat Lady."
• Disclosed that he doesn't have any money (who the hell does?), and that he bought a house he can't afford, has no cash and lots of credit, so if he wants something, he'll "just buy it" on credit, and gave me a rundown of all the useless things that he's bought in the last few days...all on plastic...

Now, he's not a bad person, just a total social moron, and lacking in any kind of idea of dating etiquette. He's SO not my lobster.

And, of course, he thinks I'm fabulous, and will be emailing me tomorrow. Today's Poll: How do you tell someone that you know, in your heart, is going to continue to ask you out with a determination that would made Lance Armstrong a pushover, that you would really prefer if he lost your number???